I didn’t want to irritate any Italians by breaking spaghetti, so I purchased a device that lets you easily cook full-length spaghetti in the microwave.
è tempo di purificazione!I’m not gonna say that you need to be purified (you need to, tho), but hey… at least you are not setting your kitchen in fire because you decided to boil your pasta WITHOUT FUCKING WATER!
Oh dude I had a roommate who did not cook. He took one my good pans and made spaghettios in it. Then left the pan on low for six hours. I told him to eat it or throw it away, he said it was okay. I told him if he boiled off all the liquid and burned it, he was not getting another chance to clean it poorly. he was buying me a new pan, and I was choosing an expensive one. Guess who got a new pan.
@AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor @logicbomb I was just thinking “Again?”, but then I realized it was from 2018
How?Not even one person, but three have never seen anyone prepare either pasta or noodles till their 20’s?? And even if not, It’s pretty obvious… These
kidsadults don’t deserve to be exchange students. Better give that spot to someone else
You should really stop microwaveing plastic.
Why?
It turns your testicles into tits. And vise versa.
Brb, putting as much plastic as I can find in my microwave.
The best part would be being able to go back and forth at will!
You do you dudebabe
My mom got me that a few years back as a semi-gag gift. I use it constantly. It’s way too easy.
My mother suggested getting frozen spaghetti meals. I was like, “Why? Spaghetti is already the easiest dish to make…”
We do break our spaghetti. We don’t have a pot large enough for the whole ones, and our stove is so hot it burns the parts of the noodles that are sticking out of the smaller pot. (Viking Range with 1,000,000 btu burners.)
We don’t make spaghetti very often anyway. Usually we make ravioli when it’s pasta night.
Look, mate, it’s simple: if you break it you won’t be able to properly emulate the spaghetti kiss scene from The Lady And The Tramp because it will be too short.
So keep it in mind if you’re a dog and you want to romance a bitch.
Got converted to the church of snapping spaghetti by persians doing it and telling me that they give a donkey’s cock about what Italians think
Take it a step further and cut it up into small pieces in your bowl. That way you can eat it like regular food instead of having to dance with it first. That was my childhood solution, at least. Now I just buy other pasta shapes instead.
I use my weed grinder to get kief pasta
Aka couscous.
I don’t mind the dance, it’s just easier to cook them when they’re snapped.
Other pasta shapes rule btw
Elbows and shells ftw
Cavatappi
Yeah, those too
I also did this at a kid, now as a big kid making my own i snap the dry pasta into small bits as it’s going into the pan.
Also Angel Hair>normal spaghetti.
You had to be converted? I just did it as a kid because otherwise it wouldn’t fit in the pot… Never understood any reason to do it any other way.
Cool 👍
Sure your nonna wouldn’t stand for it but my gran told me the gays shouldn’t be allowed to marry.
They’re not to be trusted
I used a coffee maker for 10 years and to replace it my in-laws got me a nice espresso machine. They’re into coffee. I am not.
See, I’d always make a pot of black coffee and pour it into some instant hot cocoa instead of cream and sugar.
When I do the same with fancy espresso shots now I feel like I am directly assaulting Italia.
When Angelo Moriondo invented what ultimately became the espresso machine, he didn’t do it to make coffee fancier, or better, or more exclusive, or more pure. He did it specifically to make coffee faster. Absolutely every other aspect of an espresso shot is a total afterthought.
Remember that the next time some pretentious dingus in a turtleneck is prattling at you about goddamn beans.
(And while we’re at it, nobody in Italy used a tomato for anything until, near as we can determine, the 1540s. Tomatoes came from the new world; they didn’t exist in Europe until they were brought back there. Anyone claiming that their modern tomato based Italian cookery is proud tradition dating back to antiquity is thus likewise full of it.)
He did it specifically to *make coffee faster.
That’s why he gave it that name. And not the supremo or whatever. It was the quick coffee machine.
I dunno though, Italy didn’t even form as a kingdom until the 1860s, so an entire culture formed as an afterthought seems perfectly Italian.
Tomatoes came from Mexico to be exact.
See, I’d always make a pot of black coffee and pour it into some instant hot cocoa instead of cream and sugar.
Nah, just call it a mocaccino and you’re good.
I also love adult chocolate milk
Adult chocolate milk is mixed with tequila, not coffee.
I also love
adult chocolate milkStarbucks
Just put it upright in the pot and it’ll lower by itself. You won’t even notice a difference that one side was cooked that tiny bit longer.
You also get to salute the spaghetti as it lowers itself into the pot.
I mostly just push it further in every minute or so because I don’t want to wait.
Like smothering a loved one with a pillow.
I snap them not to cook them easily (I know how to cook full length spaghetti) but because I find them easier to eat at this size. Less knots, fork spins and slurping needed. Also yes, easier to cook since the fits and you don’t need to supervise beyond the first mixing to avoid them gluing to each other. Better personal enjoyment overall.
I recommend you try it at least once. Cooking can be fun and creative, don’t let dogma limit your experience :)
Couldn’t agree more with the sentiment, a fantastic outlook :). I am the complete opposite on the pasta front and try to find the longest pasta I can. So much more fun twirling one giant noodle at a time.
Have you tried glass noodles (or Chinese fentiao)? They tend to be quite long, stretchy and sticky when cooked. You may have some fun 😊
Linguini > spaghetti
Superior shape and thickness
I do break it though. Purge away. The goal is smaller bites. Oh, and I also use the whole grain pasta. Pasta on its own is bad, but I don’t want to give it up, so I try to mitigate the damages as best I can.
Yup. Linguini or spaghettini.
Not spaghetti.
I’ve been on a cavatappi kick lately. Think spiral penned.
Tube pastas are the best at holding on to the sauce
We got them!!! We got them!!
What am I to do with just a little pot!? I wait until the water is boiling and gradually squeeze all those thin boners in there? Actually that’s what I do and just add butter and salt, but not for a meal.
Pro-tip: don’t add butter (or any oil for that matter) to the cooking water. It just makes your pasta slippery making it hard for your sauce to stick to it.
If you add a little of the pasta water to your sauce (let it cook about halfway so it’s starchy then mix like a quarter cup in with your sauce, assuming it is a sauce that can handle it) the sauce sticks to the pasta better
Agreed. Not sure what you mean by sauce, though
Normally, you cook the pasta to add something to it. Tomato? Pesto? Some ragù? You “dress” your pasta with some condiment. That’s what I mean, with “sauce”.
I was kidding, but often “sauce” for me is minimal. As a kid it was salt, and then I learned I could add butter. A challenged child was I. I have moved on, but spaghetti with just salt and butter, and hot sauce and green chilies and some meat and whatever else but never a traditional red or white sauce, it hits and I like it. This has gone far afield from what I said originally.
“Burro e salvia” (butter and sage) is a common pasta dressing in Italy. And it’s incredibly good. But then again, the butter comes after the pasta is boiled for the reason I mentioned. If you are using butter, try adding it to the pasta when you serve it (obviously, still hot), you’ll see the flavor is much better than when you add it to the water (and you need to use less butter with the pasta because it won’t remain in the water).
I promise, I don’t put butter in the pasta water
Sometimes pasta with just salt and oil/butter hits the spot. It’s simple, but pasta’s good enough to hold its own even without supporting ingredients.
Alternatively, sometimes I just use Italian salad dressing. (The dressing being Italian is coincidental, but hey if it works, it works.)
Yeah when you’re cooking in an unknown kitchen and there’s literally nothing but pasta and some salad dressing, or wing sauce, or some salt packets, you’re doing okay
What am I to do with just a little pot!?
choose other pasta than spaghetti?
Sometimes, there’s just some pasta. Cook it and survive. Other times, guests appear and demand something nourishing. But it’s always spaghettis
Pretty much. Put them in, wait a couple of seconds and then push.
At this point you could directly use Gemelli, Farfalle, Fusilli or other types of short pasta. It has the additional advantage that more of the sauce sticks on the noodles, which is tastier.
Otherwise the fun with xxl spaghetti is that you can move the whole plate of pasta with a single twist of the fork.
Mash em, crush em, put em in the soup.
Not approved 🤌
I do this too… and then I fry them until they are crunchy. I call the dish “The angry Italian”.
You know, they are crunchy right out of the package.
🤣
That’s the bad kind of crunchy. I want the good one. The “corner piece of the casserole” kind.
Recently, I learned that a common way to prepare rice is to first fry it in oil before you cook it (for Pilaf dishes, if I understand correctly).
And yeah, when I actually tried it, I certainly felt your comment. Like, how much more crunchy do I make them before adding the water?
Also you can make really good fried rice in like 30 mins by frying the raw grains (in oil) till they brown and smell toasty before you add the water to boil and steam it the rest of the way cooked.
1:2 rice:water fry for 10 mims, boil for 10 mins, kill the heat and steam for 10 mins, et voilla, perfect fresh fried rice.
(Stir in the add ins and other flavour stuff once it’s finished steaming, they’ll burn or get mushy, bland and weird if you add them to the oil or the water.)
a common way
You mean there are other ways?
Yeah, you ever tried to make the most bland and tasteless rice possible? It’s a really popular way of preparing rice here in Germany.
And well, that’s one of the steps, to not fry it.
Italiakisoba.
Well, the Italians do that as well (the last part). It is called Spaghetti all’assassina.
Some very southern Italians do. I think we’re talking Puglia. And it is awesome. Especially with some n’duja in the sauce.
Also crunchy refried pasta left over from yesterday.
That is not how spaghetti breaks:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/fNtzwdFR1EY
