It’s a kind of magic

We are not asking for a sacrifice we are asking for a snackrifice

Ooo I should have a boy band sing that at someone to join the navy

We don’t talk about rectumsempra

This isn’t even my final horcrux

Wait it is? Fuck. Could you give me a week and maybe six, seven bodies?

Needs more explosions and an anti exploding kid spell, but otherwise a solid thumbs 45 degrees up.

hot iranian men and women?

no. be angry, take memes seriously, get in fights on the internet, harm everyone and fart on escalators

Boing Loings is for throwing with wisdom

which is stale because fuck it as long as i didn’t have to make breakfast

edit who am i kidding i’ll spend a few dollars and take the missus out to brunch instead of subjecting her to church i’m not that mean

It reminds me of one of my friends upset he wasn’t invited to one of our line gaming get together, despite the fact they hate the game

it’s not that they weren’t playing the game, it’s that they were excluded from the group. they would have liked the chance to say no, or just to hang out and keep y’all topped up with snacks or whatever i don’t know the exact dynamics of the group. next time, even if they hate the game, invite them and give them a chance to say no. that’s what they want and what does it cost? that way they don’t feel excluded from the group. it’s (probably) that simple

yeah but you don’t end up scamming senile old ladies who chose the wrong political party 60 years ago and have no idea what republicans have been doing the last fifteen years or really any of what has happened the last fifteen years but really don’t deserve to be made homeless for the crime of getting dementia.

i keep getting phone calls from roofers.

find something to do that puts something positive into the world instead?

i love shakshuka. i’m gonna start calling it eggs in hell.

it’s a speed jump

not everyone enjoys the sensation

i sold the first car i ever drove to the mechanic. i’m pretty sure he still lives near where i do because i see her on my bike rides and he just painted her yellow. i kind of want to buy her back and throw some electric motors and shit in her (she has t-tops. so much fun to drive).

wait i just figured it out switch to hannah montana because it would be funny

mister barclay you did not tell me you liked to play worms