BeeegScaaawyCripple

No I can’t. I don’t have a working mic.

Lmm I imagine there is a pocket event horizon that woman have failed to cross

has this been tested?

can of soup for their family under their windshield wiper alongside Engels’ Origin of the Family.

dont scare me like that

those stickers peel so easy

my wife spent half an hour yesterday telling me a story about hoots. it wasn’t until she finished that i realized she was talking about kahoots.

we talking the cool georgia or the one with atlantis

I should check in on Dave Kellett

The fuck? I got me a 14 inch shallow pot so’s I don’t have to break my pastas

I’m not sure whether you’re responding to the warrant, the aliens, or the mormons, but I agree

The 12 hour waits were kind of insane stories. One I get to personally blame on Dick Cheney

Or the classic meme, fabulous secret powers

hey, you saw my halloween costume

you miss my point. it’s not 21% illiteracy. it’s 21% english illiteracy. the last time i read the statistics on it (iirc it was the 2022 numbers but i don’t really care to find them again) 21% were illiterate in english. 2% were not literate in any language. somewhere between 12% and 18% had something between a 6th and 9th grade literacy level in some written language. I’m not arguing whether it is easier to be literate and/or fluent in the lingua franca. i’m just saying you are taking a shortsighted view if you only look at the english language.

it’s not about protecting your car. your car’s a piece of shit smart car, stupid brother in law. no one is going to steal that anyways. it’s about protecting the single rock on your property that you decided to place there. the plastic rock. the hollow plastic rock with a little slot on the bottom for a key. with your front door key in it. If they’re distracted trying to fuck your car, who’s going to protect the rock? You either need geese or sheep. Maybe meese.

oh hell no they don’t make good guard birds. geese are good guard birds they honk for honks sake. peacocks try to make love to the chrome on your car. there’s always the one rich dude in town who thinks he’s rich enough to tame peafowl and suddenly your town is overrun with cock.

I mean something keeps calling me to the santa cruz mountains every june

no i didn’t

I made it the fuck up, senator