I’ve noticed that there seems to be an emphasis on being extremely serious at all times, as if every single comment is a PhD dissertation being evaluated or something. There’s like this weird, subtle one upmanship about every little thing and a lot of people are very nitpicky and judgmental. It kind of takes the fun out of being on here, TBH. Or am I the only one experiencing this?
Initially yes, the most active communities are filled with incredibly pedantic and holier-than-thou users that are more than happy to call you a drooling idiot for not agreeing with their logical opinions.
Once you start subscribing to communities you actually enjoy and block comms that allow users to muse about how 14 year olds have a “consenting nature” (looking at you [email protected]), Lemmy becomes a lot more useful and inclusive. There’s a lot of communities that are more active than it seems. I suggest going to the communities page and subscribing to just those comms that interest you.
Also be the change you want to see! Start posting and commenting without worrying about what the average Lemming thinks of you. We can build the type of communities we want instead of allowing this place to become another 4Chan.
Gotta agree with you here Velma. The beauty of Lemmy isn’t that it attracts or allows different people, but that we aren’t advertised to, and we are able to block instances or communities that don’t work for us, and we are able to fully curate our home pages without being shown posts from completely unrelated pages just because they paid money to be boosted. Once that is done and we have found and settled into our spaces, that is where the good interactions come out.
Misogyny is just as rampant here as any online space, it’s a systemic issue, it was not a reddit/4chan-exclusive issue. It existed before and will outlast reddit/4chan until we solve the actual fucking problem: men are both socialized and continually encouraged to fundamentally disrespect women. They need to do just as much brain-rewiring as we do when we combat our internalized misogyny.
Well said. You’re right - the root of the problem is that the users here are predominately male and that then influences the tone of the space. Without conscious effort it is easy to allow misogyny to flourish.
Especially since they are hard-wired to just not notice it - hence why we constantly get told we are overreacting - to them it comes out of left field because they do not see what we see.
The real piss off with that is that while I realize it isn’t their fault they are socialized that way, if they really want to believe that they, individually, are one of the “good ones” (as in, the non-problematic men, the ones not contributing to the problem) they can’t justify that belief unless they are actively listening when we tell them what we experience, or how something comes across from our perspective. So many of them want to push the problem down by saying “nuh uh” or arguing with us about our own damn experiences
Its fucking asinine.
My favorite is when they acknowledge we live in a patriarchal society, that women are treated worse than men, but we are overreacting or simply imagining men are treating us this way.
Fucking asinine indeed!
Sorry you girls/women have to fight so hard just to have a space. Probably makes it hard to want to try some days and it shouldn’t be that way.
As dkppunk said, it would help if the good men here would push back against their fellow men and some of these attitudes here. Seeing others push to create space for everyone to feel welcome helps a lot!
I haven’t come across much, but I mostly visit stuff where discussions don’t bring in anything mysoginistic. I may not notice everything as immediately since I’m not the one directly affected, but I do try to speak up when I notice because it affects some of my favorite people. I’m glad though, that you and others are speaking up and pushing so more of us take the effort to heart and pay proper attention.
I really appreciate it, truly <3
Absolutely! I wish more male users of these comms would call out their fellow men’s misogyny and not rely on others to do it for them. It would make the spaces more welcoming to a lot more people and create a more positive atmosphere.
I also love seeing 2 of my fave lemmings in other spaces 🥰
Been missing seeing you as often after Blahaj went down last week! Good to see you again today :)
Definitely one of the users that make Lemmy a pleasure to be on!!
I’ve found Lemmy the most gender diverse friendly place yet. A lot less 4chany/reddit/spezpedo than anywhere else.
You’re ignoring how many women, femmes, trans, enbies, and POC are on Reddit.
Reddit’s population size is going to naturally make it way more diverse than Lemmy for a long time still.
Not ignoring. They have a larger audience, but I felt the general community was more welcomed, and openly themselves here edit: in non-specialized subs.
Ah, there were quite a few great subreddits I was involved in that were incredibly diverse and friendly. I miss those spaces, though I’ve found a couple of communities on Lemmy with similar feel.
I’ve found Lemmy quite harsh and exclusionary for women, so maybe my experience has just been different than yours.
Sorry to hear. I hope that changes fast. My experience on Reddit was vastly different.
The only thing I miss about Reddit was a secret women’s only sub that you could only access by invitation. At one point I got invited and, my god, it was an amazing little space. I posted things there that would’ve been flooded by pervs if I’d posted them on the mainstream site. Like a picture of someone floating in bliss and saying something like, “How my boobs feel when I go swimming.”
The Women Only community here is good, but I really wish it were more private. Although I haven’t seen as many guys getting weird about comments from my perspective on Lemmy as I did on Reddit, it would be wonderful to have an actual private space where we didn’t have to worry about guys coming in, not reading the rules, and commenting anyway.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I just don’t understand misogyny. I absolutely love everything about women.
Damn, I have the perfect gif for this but Lemmy doesn’t support gifs in comments yet?
Maaaaybe? If the following gif works, we will know something
Edit: Damn, links the IMG but doesn’t play the gif for me.
It played the gif for me.
Voyager app checking in with all systems green: your wish is granted.
It plays if I open it! Hm maybe it’s a difference in instances or apps.
That’s my guess as well.
I had to open it, then hold tap on the image and click “play animation”, so it’s definitely app dependant
It doesn’t? Could have sworn I’ve seen them in tenforward
What the actual fuck? Are you finding people like that? Oh wtf man. I haven’t seen that in there yet. I’ve seen some category 5 dumbasses but nothing heinous like that. That’s fuckin gross
Yeah I reported several comments, but the post had been up for days at that point and no mods stepped in at all.
Full conversation justifying rock stars raping 14 year olds because it’s more cool than when politicians do it and 14 year olds have a consenting nature.
It was absolutely disgusting. Even the OP of the post called it out.
Nothing. Comments are still up. I blocked the pedo comm at this point.
I’ve noticed that lately shit posting communities have really gone down the drain because there seems to be some sort of cultural notion that you can just post anything and it’s fine because… “It’s a shitpost, it’s not that serious, you just don’t get it”. I remember back in my day shitposting used to mean something 😤
It’s a fine line.
Yeah satire still has taste to it. If you are familiar with super troopers, shitposting is like the officers fucking with people, but what these creeps are doing is like Farva calling people “ChickenFucker” with no humor or nuance etc or anything.
If you aren’t familiar with Super troopers, you need to go watch it meow.
Yeah there’s definitely some cp-adjacent porn comms on here too, it’s fucking disgusting.
Yeah that’s completely fucked. Glad I’ve not seen it but definitely reporting any I find. Pedos and their enablers need to fuck off and die in a hole.
Almost every comment I’ve seen from you is hostile lol
Take a look at my post history, you would be surprised at the positivity I usually comment with - I have no patience for sexist men though.
Yeah you love spewing insults lol
I’m also self aware enough to know i can be a shithead and i’m not out here whining and pretending i’m not part of the problem either
Your name is recognizable and i have seen countless comments from you that rub me the wrong way
If you know you’re part of the problem, why not… stop? You don’t have to be a shithead. It’s actually really easy to treat people with respect.
Because I don’t agree with the OP that it’s an issue. I think that on anon boards you can act however you want. There are better places if you are this sensitive.
You can act however you want, but if you act like a shithead all the time you’re probably gonna get a lot of shit back. That’s fine if that’s what you want, but in that case you gotta have a thick enough skin for it.
If I was bothered I would just block accounts.
Oh I’m not allowed to act however I want but you are?
Why is that?
You can. I would have blocked you if I wasn’t ok with it.
I’m merely pointing out that you have no room to complain about hostility here. Youre a hypocrite
As are you.
I’m not your ex-girlfriend.
Yeah, which insults do I throw out most? I don’t name call hardly ever unless it’s to point out misogyny and even then it’s to call them a misogynist. I’m serious, feel free to go through my post history. You won’t find what you’re looking for there.
I’m self aware enough to know that I am rude to men who do not respect women. I don’t deny that.
I’ve seen a lot of comments that rub me the wrong way as well.
We get it, you hate men
No, I hate sexist men who can’t respect a women’s only community.
I hate men who rape.
I hate men who insist on their viewpoint being the only correct one and waiving away women’s perspectives and views.
That’s very different from hating all men.
Yes we get it, man bad bear good
What do you get out of this? Does it make you hard to needle at women? Does it get your rocks off to pick at outspoken women?
Again, my post history would dispel this image who have built of me in your head if you ever bother to take a look. It feels better to hate me though, doesn’t it?