Driving off someone from being online, as a troll, because it gives you a thrill.
This is an awfully specific flex, but it is a flex nonetheless, that people do feel to boast about. Because it’s just another form of a power-trip. Congratulations, you’ve driven away someone who could’ve been a contributory member of a community to make yourself feel better by orchestrating lies, performing witch hunts and huddling with your troll buddies in ways to figure out how to process this.
There’s nothing prideful about this to flex over.
Never using their PTO at work.
Going into work sick too.
On a related note, as a parent I think school perfect attendance awards are perverse. Congratulations, we’re rewarding a kid for being a disease vector and being sent to school miserable and snotty, or at best making other kids feel less-than because they received proper treatment and isolation. I would guess that the average perfect attendance kids costs the rest of the school at least half a dozen absences per year.
As an Asian American, “illness” is a myth that children invented as an excuse to get out of having to go to school. You have to go even if have fucking Covid, cuz you dont have it, you’re just pretending in order to have an excuse to be lazy.
At least that’s how my parents see it.
I mean I can see why there’s a stereotype associated with Asians…
As a kid I also hated the perfect attendance award because
- My mom was really into it and made me go to school when i was sick
- I was always the only one who was awarded it and the other kids already thought i was weird
- Not as great a reason, but my best friend in elementary school told me that sometimes his parents gave him a day off school so he could do something fun with them :/
Number 3 is perfectly reasonable and healthy. If it’s not interfering with their education or progress, time off is a good thing now and then. And especially in a household where both parents work full-time that time together was likely way more valuable for the kids development than whatever he would’ve gotten from one day of classes.
Wow. Yes. Some of my favorite memories are when my Dad would turn what could have been a half hour away from school into a half day, to spend more time together away from school and work.
The awards are an effect of a perverse funding system that funds schools based on attendance. The schools are forced to choose between classes full of sick kids or not having the funds to teach the healthy ones.
That gets other people sick and is counter productive too. You end being sicker for longer, it’s a loss for you and the company. It’s just dumb.
One of the contracts I worked wouldn’t pay out holidays if I missed more than a day in the prior 2 months or some such. So in protest I vowed to come in to work no matter how sick I was. Even brought a change of clothes in case I’d need it.
Then of course I didn’t get sick again until after the contract ended.
My friend working retail figured out that if he came to work obviously disgustingly sick, they’d send him home.
What I didnt realize is that if you did it that way, it didn’t count as “calling out sick”.
When I actually did call out sick a few times because i had a cold, my sick days got brought up at my performance review, which affected the tiny incremental raises we got. I said should i do it like <emoloyee> and bring my germs to work? And they said don’t try to be like <employee>, he’s always figuring out the loopholes.
I was a department manager who shared office space with another department. One of the guys from the other department came in bragging that he had been throwing up all morning but was able to come into work. I told him he either needed to sit somewhere else or go home because I’m not risking my health or the health of my colleagues/associates because of his dumbassery. He eventually went home after I gave him a verbal dressing down that his manager backed me up on.
So selfish to come into work sick like that!
“I got 12 femtoseconds of sleep last night”
Okay, but like turn off your phone and go to bed, that’s super bad for you and you are intolerable because you’re grumpy from not sleeping
It’s literally misery Olympics with my mom about sleep. I can’t mention anything about sleep without her cutting me off trying to 1-up me.
Me: I got called and had to remote in for work last night, didn’t get to bed until after 4a…
Mom: Welcome to my world I was awake until after 5 and maybe got only 2 hours of sleep so I sat up in bed with my iPad on full brightness reading
Welcome to (peri)menopause.
I’ll only mention that at work so people know why I’m stupid and irritable and I precede it with an apology.
Gen-X would like a word.
“Oh I don’t understand politics” or “oh I don’t do politics” that’s embarrassing.
See also “I don’t see race”.
Ignorance isn’t a defense or a flex, that’s on you.
I say “I don’t do politics”, but that’s because I don’t feel like discussing politics with the person I’m saying it to.
If you’re in my inner circle or are paying attention to my online posts, you know my political stances very well.
That’s just an excuse for racism/nationalism. “Oh, I’m not a nationalist, I just hate all minorities in my country.”
See my comment about dating profiles. :)
People who “don’t follow politics” think politics is some niche interest like music or sports, they don’t understand that it impacts every aspect of their lives
“I don’t do politics” = conservative
There’s a completely different set of assumptions outside the US.
“I don’t do politics” = “I’m the most progressive person you talk to on a regular basis, but you’re a conservative, so you wont know that”
I am very anti-conservative, lol. The amount of good feeling I got seeing the bluenami has been amazing
One notable exception I’ve encountered; Liberal women will say that on their dating profile. Dated hot and heavy a few years back, in a very red county. “I don’t talk politics” was code for “Keep your MAGA shit to yourself.”
On the phone with a potential date, laughed and said, “Well, I’m kind of a redneck.”
“…just how redneck?”
“I fucking loathe Donald Trump if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Oh! Whew. Just had to ask.”
She was a really neat woman, but it didn’t work out for long.
deleted by creator
On one hand, race isn’t real. On the other hand, things that people believe are real can still hurt you.
Race isn’t real the same way money isn’t. Try saying “money isn’t real” to a homeless person and see how that works out
Pretending you don’t know how to use a computer or a smartphone nowadays. It’s not the 70s/80s/90s anymore, you look stupid. Same with books as if they were boring devices for nerds.
Wait, why would someone pretend to not know how to use a PC?
Even my grandmother knows how to use a smartphone and iPad and she’s in her 80s
My mother does not. She uses it everyday, but struggles with everything and jabs at the screen like it will bite her.
Or they got an iPhone 10 years ago but still treat it like they’re an early adopter.
Flexing that they have never read any books.
“My daddy told me books don’t make a man”
Sure, but not reading doesn’t make a man either.
Iliterat fuks. Their, i sed it.
sed 's/sed/said/g'said ‘s/said/said/g’
Command ‘said’ is not found.
Speaking of weird flexes…
To be fair I’m impressed
I am a little sed now
sed "s|(sed 's/sed/said)/g'|\1'|"You don’t actually need the
gif the pattern only occurs once.
Your not very good at speling.
Y us many leter wen few do trik?
Coll mee wizerd cuz imma gud spellir
wooosh?
Woooosh
Lol I did that as an infant!
INTJ or whatever your 16 personalities result is
That shit is so embarrassing
I got that outcome from MB a couple of times and happened across an entire INTJ web forum. It was a hive of insufferable incel twats. Next time I did business person astrology I got a different result.
I don’t understand the strong drive people have to be put into a box in general. I get how getting a result that says only 2% of the population share it and that can make you feel unique and rare, but it’s still really stripping away a lot of the complexity of being human, no?
I remember getting ENTJ as a young teenager that completely bought that this was real and valid and being low key kinda hurt and trying not to show it.
I often play devils advocate and I get your feeling but then there is also peoples drive to understand themselves. Who they are and how they function. this technically does that. I mean the trans and neurodivergent folk do it all the time along with furries.
But it’s demonstrably not real
what makes it not real. that people have personality tendencies? I mean I don’t really know what that thing is I sorta assumed it was like disc or being a type A or whatnot.
I bet you get a lot of people really, really mad playing devil’s advocate for things you know nothing about, but I do appreciate the honesty lmao
well context in conversations suggests things. Like this suggests a personality testing type. So yeah assumptions were made.
The only personality test I will accept is your ideal Magic: The Gathering EDH deck and commander.
Nothing exposes someone’s whole soul like that does.
Damn. You’re dropping truth bombs.
But I’m not sharing mine, both because it is embarrassing, and I would dox myself as the world’s 3rd worst MTG player.
You’re in a safe space, my perfect deck is a partners Ludevic, Necro-Alchemist and Bjorna, Nightfall Alchemist running an izzet Rube Goldberg of edge case artifacts with obscure rules that build 4-8 piece combo engines that only sometimes win the game after I twiddle a bunch of cards.
My follow up and less messy deck is Alesha, Who Smiles at Death with a toys theme from duskmourn. I want to do alters for all the cards so the legends look like creepy children and everything else looks like toys.
That whole personality test thing is bullshit anyways. Any quiz online that claims to evaluate your IQ, your personality .etc are no different than the many many social media quizzes we saw, that determined what Harry Potter house you belonged to.
Tbf that one is less than a few percentage of the world population.
They all live in my town and have bumper stickers announcing it
It’s however many people are determined to get it, my friend, that test is pseudoscience
That they don’t read books.
I used, to be that guy. Every time I tried reading a book suggested by someone, it was boring for me.
Turns out books were just like movies and tv shows, I just needed to find books I enjoyed and not blindly following trends.
A good book lets you create a whole world in your mind and is one of the greatest, purest pleasures.
A bad piece of fiction that doesn’t engage you or isn’t able to grab your attention is just a boring slog.
Anti-intellectualism.
I don’t trust all these scientists! They want to trick me and do something bad for some reason. I don’t understand what’s really happening because I can’t fathom anyone I don’t agree with being smarter than me.
It has repeated with often horrific results across many cultures. European with hunts, Mao’s Cultural Revolution, Khmer Rouge (Cambodian genocide), etc. Seems to be a bug in the human source code.
wut u meen, i am dum an porud!
Waking up extremely eary, something like 4 a.m.
Either that is your regular sleep cycle or you trained yourself to fight your regular sleep schedule. That isn’t impressive any more than staying up until 4 a.m. is impressive.
I have never really heard it as a flex. my neighbors are like this and its their natural sleep cycle. My wife and I are kinda the opposite although the work world bs schedule have trumped up our natural cycle.
Working a lot
Dad?
Someone’s got to pay for your posts about beans.
Had family that would refuse to drink water. Reasoning- “I don’t drink what fish fuck in”. They died from diabetes.
“Salad? You mean rabbit food!?”
I kinda do love saying that sarcastically though. But with the context that I’m vegan and really dislike the sad little side salads that some restaurants offer as their only vegan option. Gimme some lentils or beans dammit!
Lentils? Beans!?
Best I can do is parsley. Oh, wait! I think the bar has fresh mint for their mojitos…
Some dude try pulling that one on me at Publix greenwise. For reference I’m 6’6 and~250lbs. and much more athletic then. Looked him dead in his eye and said “maybe I like my rabbit food.” Dude looked like he hadn’t seen a vegetable on his plate in years.
Water? You mean like from the toilet?
With no electrolytes?
I mean most people don’t usually get their water straight from a fish tank. Also don’t fish just jizz all over a pile of eggs anyway? Not that that’s necessarily better but it’s not what most people think of as fucking.
“Water, don’t fish bukakke in that?”
David Attenborough voice: Some creatures are able to acquire sufficient hydration from their food alone. This primate, however, was not one of them.
how the fuck did your family live that long?
Did they by chance watch the show “Archer?”
Passed a few years before it aired.
Loud vehicles. What they think is cool is actually annoying everyone else.
There are folks around here who actually install speakers outside their vehicles. And they’re the worst, cheapest sounding speakers in existence.
They’re tearing down the street, blasting their shitty music out of shitty speakers, suffering from terminal main character syndrome and it’s just sad (and very annoying).
A lot of them think it’s cool specifically because it annoys other people. It’s antisocial behavior.
This one drives me crazy:
“I am TOP contributer of the community support!” … for a multi biliion dollar company
That is nothing to be proud of. That just means the vendor sucks and you are free labor.
The typical bullshit midwestern work ethic “I just worked 30 billions hours of overtime this week!”
I have a brother-in-law who picks up as much overtime as he can and brags about how little sleep he is able to get. My response is always: “that’s not the flex you think it is, you exploited bastard!”
As a European, I thought that was a universal American thing.
Where I come from, the opposite attitude exists - you’re supposed to enjoy life and take it easy.
As an Amercan who has worked AND enjoyed life, my employer over here was less than thrilled with the idea that my life didn’t revolve around my job.
Not entirely the USA, and older generations tended to embody it more.
Their car.
Overall I agree, but it can depend. If you put in a bunch of work to build, design, or restore a car then that’s worthy of bragging. But if you’re just some jagoff who simply bought a mustang, then it’s just weird to brag about
Hah, I bought a car that will leave your rustang in the dust! More power, but enough tr toon control that I won’t put it in the ditch
… for example
