It was a big problem for me for a long time. The words are in my head, but my mouth couldn’t articulate the sounds and sometimes it was literal nonsense sounds that came out my mouth.
Weirdly enough, it turned out that I had a sensitivity to eggs that was making that (and my mental health) a lot worse.*
Even now, ten years on, when I can articulate a long sentence without tripping over my words, it still feels like a little victory.
This is a completely different thing from mutism btw.
*Unfortunately, the price of lower anxiety and better speech was losing a lot of my neutral/useful autistic traits as well.
Of course I can speak. I spend fifteen minutes practicing my order in my head first, of course. And then yeah, I probably get the words on the wrong order. But they’re all mostly there.
When people talk about inner monologues, mine is just literally scripting. The worst is after social interaction, where my brain has to ruminate over it and script for the next time. Stupid brain won’t stop, and all the way home, sometimes even sounds and gestures leak out as my brain frantically scripts and I hate it. Like, just shut up, brain!
This morning I spent like 1 minute in a meeting wanting to say something scrolling in my head but the mouth was not cooperating at all with the words, so after a bunch of time and noises I just say “fuck the words” which actually worked and only then after pausing and waiting for the mouth to sync properly was I finally able to speak.
For whatever it’s worth, whenever I am finally able to understand thoughts that come from a way different context than my own it is super satisfying. It’s like finding a hidden world that was underneath my feet all along.
“I have one main point I want to convey with five points of supporting evidence but actually each of those require arguing and some qualifications and point 4 is an essential part of the argument for point 1 and all of this reminds me of a funny conversation in a tv show that to me does a better job of explaining it but if you haven’t seen it what’s really important about that show is that it came out at the height of the War on Terror and -”
You probably stopped listening around the word “supporting” and I don’t blame you for that
Aphasia sucks. There’s a dam between my brain and my mouth and sometimes the right word gets caught on it so I have to start throwing out cinnamon rolls
I also struggle to relate to this! My husband says he feels like this a lot, and I’m like, how? you’ve been speaking one language for 3 + decades, that’s plenty of practice lol! But that’s okay. He’ll get there eventually.
Sometimes there is a disconnect between what your brain wants to do and what it does. Just requires a little understanding. It’s not like your husband can explain it either. The brain is complicated.
Another example: sleep paralysis. It’s very weird but years ago I experienced it. I woke up but couldn’t move. Very scary and strange, but not that uncommon.
I’m not really sure what your problem with me is, but I bet I’ve been married longer than you have, and it’s 100% okay to frustrate each other sometimes and then laugh about it later. It’s also okay to admit you can’t perfectly relate to something your partner experiences, and it is going to happen unless you somehow managed to marry yourself.
My best guess is that I remind you of someone who wasn’t patient with you in a really devastating way, causing all of this projection, and I’m genuinely sorry that happened to you. But you don’t actually know me, and you couldn’t possibly know what I’m like based on a couple of silly comments online.
What happens is when people get told they’re weird because of the way they are, it hurts. Yeah that’s happened to me many times and it sucks a lot. Fortunately my current partner is pretty understanding.
You come off as not understanding that you’ve hurt your husband’s feelings and I can relate to that “why can’t you just [insert thing I can’t help]?”. In this thread lots of people are relating to that kinda thing so it was kinda jarring to see the opposite.
I don’t get it. People can’t speak?
I understand not wanting to speak, but not the lack of ability.
It’s common in neurodivergent people.
It was a big problem for me for a long time. The words are in my head, but my mouth couldn’t articulate the sounds and sometimes it was literal nonsense sounds that came out my mouth.
Weirdly enough, it turned out that I had a sensitivity to eggs that was making that (and my mental health) a lot worse.*
Even now, ten years on, when I can articulate a long sentence without tripping over my words, it still feels like a little victory.
This is a completely different thing from mutism btw.
*Unfortunately, the price of lower anxiety and better speech was losing a lot of my neutral/useful autistic traits as well.
Of course I can speak. I spend fifteen minutes practicing my order in my head first, of course. And then yeah, I probably get the words on the wrong order. But they’re all mostly there.
Fifteen? Is that it?
When people talk about inner monologues, mine is just literally scripting. The worst is after social interaction, where my brain has to ruminate over it and script for the next time. Stupid brain won’t stop, and all the way home, sometimes even sounds and gestures leak out as my brain frantically scripts and I hate it. Like, just shut up, brain!
This morning I spent like 1 minute in a meeting wanting to say something scrolling in my head but the mouth was not cooperating at all with the words, so after a bunch of time and noises I just say “fuck the words” which actually worked and only then after pausing and waiting for the mouth to sync properly was I finally able to speak.
I’m autistic,and yes, I sometimes can’t speak.
I try to say something, but instead it comes out in a way no one can understand.
For whatever it’s worth, whenever I am finally able to understand thoughts that come from a way different context than my own it is super satisfying. It’s like finding a hidden world that was underneath my feet all along.
“I have one main point I want to convey with five points of supporting evidence but actually each of those require arguing and some qualifications and point 4 is an essential part of the argument for point 1 and all of this reminds me of a funny conversation in a tv show that to me does a better job of explaining it but if you haven’t seen it what’s really important about that show is that it came out at the height of the War on Terror and -”
You probably stopped listening around the word “supporting” and I don’t blame you for that
The problem is thoughts are a web, and speech is a line. Someday I hope we will be able to brain dump through our neural implants.
Oh no… Imagine tiktok content in those times
Aphasia sucks. There’s a dam between my brain and my mouth and sometimes the right word gets caught on it so I have to start throwing out cinnamon rolls
You’re trying to say you truly don’t understand the concept of getting tongue tied?..
I also struggle to relate to this! My husband says he feels like this a lot, and I’m like, how? you’ve been speaking one language for 3 + decades, that’s plenty of practice lol! But that’s okay. He’ll get there eventually.
Sometimes there is a disconnect between what your brain wants to do and what it does. Just requires a little understanding. It’s not like your husband can explain it either. The brain is complicated.
Another example: sleep paralysis. It’s very weird but years ago I experienced it. I woke up but couldn’t move. Very scary and strange, but not that uncommon.
He sure can’t, lol!
You sound very understanding and emotionally intelligent /s
I’m not really sure what your problem with me is, but I bet I’ve been married longer than you have, and it’s 100% okay to frustrate each other sometimes and then laugh about it later. It’s also okay to admit you can’t perfectly relate to something your partner experiences, and it is going to happen unless you somehow managed to marry yourself.
My best guess is that I remind you of someone who wasn’t patient with you in a really devastating way, causing all of this projection, and I’m genuinely sorry that happened to you. But you don’t actually know me, and you couldn’t possibly know what I’m like based on a couple of silly comments online.
What happens is when people get told they’re weird because of the way they are, it hurts. Yeah that’s happened to me many times and it sucks a lot. Fortunately my current partner is pretty understanding.
Like I said sorry that happened to you and I hope you’ll have a lot of success in your relationship
You come off as not understanding that you’ve hurt your husband’s feelings and I can relate to that “why can’t you just [insert thing I can’t help]?”. In this thread lots of people are relating to that kinda thing so it was kinda jarring to see the opposite.