Yeah, amen to that. To add to that, it doesn’t only create animosity, it can be actively harmful for the person that has it “less worse”.
I always tended to marginalize my own issues because there is so much pain in the world, until my issues simply took the space they demanded and i couldn’t deal with it, causing a mental breakdown.
A psychiatrist told me many years ago - when i told him that i can’t take my issues seriously while there are so many people out there that have it worse - that there is no distinction between someone drowning 10 meters under water to someone drowning 5 meters under water, they are both drowning. So while there might be others that have it worse, never forget that the same concept counts for yourself, you also have it worse than many others, who in their turn have it worse that the next group and so on.
there is no distinction between someone drowning 10 meters under water to someone drowning 5 meters under water, they are both drowning
That’s a great analogy, I might have to steal that.
I actually had a similar experience. Had a partner with a horrifically abusive mother, who also ended up abusing me. I was so focused on the suffering of my eventually ex-partner that I very strongly suppressed how it was affecting me and how I was suffering. The consequences were… Well, let’s not go there.
Yeah, amen to that. To add to that, it doesn’t only create animosity, it can be actively harmful for the person that has it “less worse”.
I always tended to marginalize my own issues because there is so much pain in the world, until my issues simply took the space they demanded and i couldn’t deal with it, causing a mental breakdown.
A psychiatrist told me many years ago - when i told him that i can’t take my issues seriously while there are so many people out there that have it worse - that there is no distinction between someone drowning 10 meters under water to someone drowning 5 meters under water, they are both drowning. So while there might be others that have it worse, never forget that the same concept counts for yourself, you also have it worse than many others, who in their turn have it worse that the next group and so on.
That’s a great analogy, I might have to steal that.
I actually had a similar experience. Had a partner with a horrifically abusive mother, who also ended up abusing me. I was so focused on the suffering of my eventually ex-partner that I very strongly suppressed how it was affecting me and how I was suffering. The consequences were… Well, let’s not go there.