The problem I have with this idea that it reinforces the idea that it’s a competition for who has it worse. Because it isn’t, there is always someone who has it worse somewhere. That competition also never ends well, because how much a person is affected by something is also different for person to person. And it makes the person with the “umbrella of privilege” feel like their problems aren’t important, which often creates animosity.
So at the end of the day, instead of solving the problems and improving the situations, we spiral into nasty discussions and fight each other instead of working to solve the problems.
In other words, let’s help each other with the problems (including those mentioned here) instead of competing on who has the worst situation, and we’ll get much further.
Yeah, amen to that. To add to that, it doesn’t only create animosity, it can be actively harmful for the person that has it “less worse”.
I always tended to marginalize my own issues because there is so much pain in the world, until my issues simply took the space they demanded and i couldn’t deal with it, causing a mental breakdown.
A psychiatrist told me many years ago - when i told him that i can’t take my issues seriously while there are so many people out there that have it worse - that there is no distinction between someone drowning 10 meters under water to someone drowning 5 meters under water, they are both drowning. So while there might be others that have it worse, never forget that the same concept counts for yourself, you also have it worse than many others, who in their turn have it worse that the next group and so on.
there is no distinction between someone drowning 10 meters under water to someone drowning 5 meters under water, they are both drowning
That’s a great analogy, I might have to steal that.
I actually had a similar experience. Had a partner with a horrifically abusive mother, who also ended up abusing me. I was so focused on the suffering of my eventually ex-partner that I very strongly suppressed how it was affecting me and how I was suffering. The consequences were… Well, let’s not go there.
It doesn’t really matter who has it worse. We all have our struggles and they’re all valid and we should be there to help each other out.
Real privilege is being smart enough to stay inside while it’s raining.
