Alternate t h i c c and chopped water

Nah just make the water thicker.

Ya, dont’cha kno

Why wait? Why not be proactive about grandpa’s threats?

Free pair of Pit Vipers bruh

Glad that they mention, albeit a ways in, that reports of other carriers being down are because people try to call Verizon-serviced phones and freak out on Downdetector when it doesn’t go through.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEyou’ll have to speak upEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

A peepeacoat

Takes just a few more steps though.

1. Impeach
2. Convict
3. Remove
4. ???
5. Profit!

married joint filers

Not with these student loans out here, bruh. But I don’t think the student loan crowd are your main supporters.

It’s a brick and I’m nodding slowly

“Hello, 911? Your friendly neighborhood cartel bro here. Yeah, just wanted to tell you my exact location so you can come pick me up while I’m incapacitated. No, this isn’t my burner phone, this is my regular one with the caller ID. Took out a Fed on my way down, so you might wanna send some heavily armed cops too, tee hee :3”

The walking taco. Who doesn’t want 1. A taco, and 2. The ease of eating it out of a bag?

Good thing the students can still hear a critique of political economy.

He needed something for show and tell before applesauce and naptime.

It will be left to the discretion of park service officials to determine whether a pass has been “defaced” or not.

I have a feeling there’s some very disgruntled park staff who are over this shit and can’t be paid enough to care.

Waiting for the “It was totally self defense so I shot her in the freakin’ face a bunch of times.” Fucking cowards. I hope you all get the brazen bull.

What’s the one for the St. Anger snare. Asking for a friend.