The only way I’ve ever gotten significant raises is job hopping. My last job, I finally got an overdue promotion with a solid ~10-15% raise. But it was too late, I already had a job offer in hand, and put in my 2 weeks a few days later for ~30% more
I had to wait a few days so my 401k was 100% vested before I bailed, put in my 2 weeks on the exact day it vested, internally was laughing my ass off while saying thanks for the promotion
I don’t know why parents never brought it up, but same. Rarely talked about the uncle that died early after a life of drug and alcohol abuse. I didn’t find out that my dad’s sperm donor committed suicide until I was in my 30s. Geeze, the depression and self harm and substance abuse makes more sense huh.