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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • Immersive games, I don’t know exactly what makes them immersive for me, but they’re the games I turn off any other videos, music, and distractions. To get totally into. Some games:

    • The Shadowrun Trilogy
    • Disco Elysium
    • Morrowind

    I think it’s games where there’s interesting stuff to read and think about. I know I preferred Disco Elysium on it’s initial release, when only some of the dialog had voice acting.





  • One of the most powerful words we have, especially with intimacy and romantic partners, is “no”. I still remember years ago what Dan Savage said and it sticks with me as an interesting difference:

    https://www.npr.org/2021/09/24/1040550752/dan-savage-on-celebrating-30-years-of-savage-love-with-a-new-book

    I think what my readers get and what a lot of straight people sort of intuitively get is that your gay friends know a little bit more about sex than you do, and maybe are a little better at it than you are. And that’s not because we’re magic — although we are magic. It’s something else. Gay people have to communicate about sex. Straight people get to consent and stop talking about what happens next or what they want. And when two people of the same sex go to bed, they get to yes, they get to consent, and then they have to have a whole conversation about what’s going to happen. Nothing makes you better at sex than communicating. Gay people have to communicate. Straight people can avoid communication and often do because sex is difficult to talk about. You can’t be gay if you can’t talk about difficult sexual issues, you know, you can’t come out to your family without confronting a difficult sexual issue. It makes it easier for us to have these conversations with our partners, and I think straight people have always kind of gotten that. That’s why it’s such a cliché for straight people to go to their gay friends with their sex problems or sex questions.

    You had that initial conversation and it’s totally normal to keep communicating and adjusting the plan as you go. Anyone with any experience with a romantic partner understands and is okay with that. A date is a date, and a date can end in many different ways and still be a good date.