DDR4 but, sigh, 256MB sticks

Excuse me?

Can I still use stuff from the '60s to about the late '90s?

Um, wat

If you need the notion of an invisible sky judge/peeping Tom, you’re not a virtuous person, you’re a trembling child afraid of the strap.

The fact it makes everything expensive and proprietary is just an unfortunate side effect.

Wait, that works!?

BRB!

Yes, sort of like if your kitchen is on fire but you also need to vacuum the living room. You should definitely focus on finishing the vacuuming before addressing the fire, because, you know, you can care about more than one thing.

I’m reminded of this type of absurdity every time my Creative T40 speakers auto-shut off after a few minutes of inactivity, and take 4 seconds to wake up again. Yes, that entire millijoule of (entirely renewable) electrical energy is making a huge difference.

Excuse me, I have to cancel a certain appointment.

I don’t even want to hold hands in public, I can not wrap my head around people going to these degenerate events and having everything on video.

Yeah but the morbidly-obese hang-gliding people videos are worth it!

On public transit, it bottoms out.

So wait, parenting means more than ejaculating a bunch of cells into a uterus? And I have to get off my phone and hand the kids something besides cans of Coke and bags of Oreos?

If you write movie’s, why don’t you also write author’s?

Oh sorry, I interrupted you in the middle of changing the world.

Could you destroy unnecessary apostrophes in possessive pronouns? Get rewarded with correct grammar.

I have 5 computer CRTs, but even I find that a bit much. Commodore 1702, 1080, 1902, 1950, and the green screen in a PET.

Well maybe I do! Or maybe I don’t! I’ll never tell!