I feel the “checking watch for next emergency”

I’m just about done paying off my last emergency so I’m right on time for the next big one. Fate seems to wait until I’m spitting distance from paying it off to taunt me or some shit.

The last time I was literally 1 month from having it paid off before BOOM $10k medical emergency and to not become homeless due to said medical emergency combined with being on FMLA for 12 weeks minus a day.

It don’t like like a lot to some but for me it’s been hell.

Fucking high rollers over there

My retirement plan is to die at work, that way my family is taken care of. (who am I kidding, my work will try to weasel out of paying them if that happens)

To use the internet was an intentional act. You had to check the time to make sure you weren’t gonna hit some long distance charges, login, and wait for it to connect.

YouveGotMail.wav

You received a dancing baby gif in your inbox from a friend.

“sorry we’re unable to release him as we’re unsure which facility he’s currently in”

-Them in a few weeks probably after continuous pressure

NGL I’d want Canada to annex us.

I’m in the PNW, it’s a fairly common sentiment around here.

Uwuntu

NGL I thought you were joking about that being a thing

Link for those curious

One quick hack to make the shareholders happy with how much money you’ve been putting into a failing project: rename a successful one to the failing project’s name.