That’s my plan…

Fertilizing

Mistakes may happen, but I’m sure they won’t do any evil shit on porpoise.

Then all the bacteria are flung onto the lid, and when I sit down I might touch the lid with my back.

There’s plenty of bacteria in the air already, a million more aren’t going to hurt. Unless you have a norovirus, then you need to disinfect with bleach after you’re done.