I thoughts netbird is a tailscale alternative? How can you use it ober tailscale? So 2 layers of VPN?

So my setup rigjt now:

• vps with headscale
• all devices connect to it
• in my home lab a vm running a tailscale client and a reverse proxy with a Wildcard cert
• all other services run as their own VMS and the proxy routes to them
• i have a dmz (not yet public) running a proxy with tailscale again for a different domain
• dmz runs a authentik vm which i use for access controll and user management
• backup Server connects to tailscale as well and proxmox pushes zfs snapshots every day

My long term goal is to move to pangolin as a reverse proxy on the vps and tailscale alternative and remove tailscale, as i find its very battery inefficient on Android (no subnet Router etc).

So i just give people access to the VPN and send them an authentik invite and thats it. With pangolin i dont even have to give them a VPN access anymore, it can be done via authentik i think.

A vps is 3-6€ and the tailscale standard is 10€ so its even cheaper, but a bit more setup to maintain. But it allows a ton of users :) so i guess this would be the smallest change with the highest impact

Authentik is nice to have but a pain to set up as the oicd stuff can be tricky. Immich was super ez, nextcloud was OK, docspell was a pain and ocis does not work with authentik becsuse they use different architectures for sso. (Ocis and authentik are a bit dumb here)

To am sorry to hear that!

Feelings are coming and going, so will this pass. Its valid to feel any emotion, its how we deal with it. I will come to it below… In my experience it helps to:

• journal about it just dump every thought that comes up on some paper. This helps to make your thoughts and feelings more real.
• chatting with someone also greatly helps, its like journaling but with feedback. I am always surprised how nice their reactions are and how good it feels.
• you can also chat with an AI, make shure you pick one that respects your privacy or even running a local modeln on a strong pc through ollama or such. Its a I between of journaling and talking I think? You can prompt the AI to behave a certain way which can help.
• therapy is great. In some places its hard to get but even a few sessions help to get your own thoughts going. In germany its tough right now, but just try. There are also some institutions from Unis where ongoing therapists can have their first patients, its a lot more accessible and can help
• I think the current psychological stance is that the best way to improve most psychological situations is meta cognitivity. The idea is basically to see your emotions as they happen, which allowes you to label them and take a step back. The emotions will not define you as much, and you will be able to deal with them. This helps to develop emotional management, which is the only way to deal with emotions. You can’t control them.
• idk what your inner process is. Some people are just kind of comfortable with a sad feeling and come back there as a safe space of sorts. Other people seek it for other reasons, you should talk about a therapist if you find this interesting. In the end like others have said it’s propably some form of depression, which can get better! It takes work and time but it will improve!
• in general we tend to question our good thoughts not your bad ones. Try to switch it up and reverse it, try to prove to yourself why x is good, not try to find a reason y is bad

I am afraid I myself have no concrete advice how to improve your situation right now. Be kind to yourself like a loving parent would be. Force yourself to go for a walk even if it feels exhausting, get a coffee or so and something nice to snack. Maybe see a friend with a little warning you are not feeling to great but need some different input or just have a beer and don’t talk, just get a hug, idk. It will strengthen your friendship a lot. Idk if you already established that, ans idk your friends but some get spooked so maybe go slow and have them ask questions or so. Maybe get some nice food and play a game or watch a movie, allow yourself to feel good about it. You deserve it.

Love to you! It will get better :) <3

It seems this lobby has 3 types of players:

1. noobs with a bit of trash in their pockets and a depression
2. veterans that collected it all
3. veterans that found out a cigarette and a piece of wire is all they need

Haha i get that. I feel like proxmox backup server is really great together with proxmox though. And idk but I feel like there is not too much to do wrong? Correct me if you think differently, but we use a mirrored hdd zfs pool on pbs and pve, so we have 4 copies plus snapshots ob the backup server. So harddrive failure is not really a problem. And deleting or corrupting files or databases manually on accident can happen, but they can be revived sometimes or restored from last nights backup And yes, the backup server could die, but the drives should be fine still. And yes, it can burn down but then you have a mirrored drive on the home lab. I think its rather difficult to delete stuff on the bps on accident. I would just not delete anything manually. If its too full, either increase the pruning job for old snapshots or just put in a mother pair of drives.

Maybe I am cheap but its also fun I think. Also I feel like my data is actually mine now?

To throw in yet another opinion that does not help you right now: My friend has a backup server at his place and I have our home lab at my place.

Just a rough calculation: 2 8tb drives for a mirror is 150€ each (during a normal market, and when we bought it), so 300 combined. That is 60€per year if we assume they die quickly after 5years.

With a very light old desktop pc that is power efficient we can reach 25w

That is: 25w/1000 (for kW) * 24h * 365d * 0.35€/kW = 78€ per year of energy.

That is combined 138€/year.

The hetzner storage box is 24€/Month @ 10tb

So that is 288€/year.

So I would argue that its even cheaper to pay a friend to put a small old pc at their place and paying them 40ct /kwh is still cheaper than the clouds? Assuming you can find hdds at a reasonable price. But I could find cheap used offers with a runtime of 3y for 100€.

If you only need 1tb, its not worth it to run your own storage, as the power stays roughly the same:

Hetzner: 3,8€/1tb * 12m = 46.6€ So allone the power of running the backup server is not worth it financially.

For the 5tb plan: 12€*12m=144€ so that is the break even point I assume, as drives don’t scale too mich with price?

I have been working on myself and somehow improved my mental health a bit through reflecting, journaling, talking openly with my close ones and a bit of therapy.

On a technical side I have been redoing the architecture of my home lab without it ever working before. My end goal is pangolin on my vps, a dmz, a vpn net, opnsense firewall vm, authentik and the of cause all my services. I am working backwards as I want to build a functional base so my buddy can deploy services again if he wants to, using authentik finally. Its a journey. It can be exhausting but to be honest I rely on llms writing boiler plate or example ansible configs for me to take off quite some load. It speeds up the process quite nicely.

My other project I am working on is a light controller software based on a steam deck that is supposed to work like the robe robo spot follow spot system. Most of my backend is done, I need some redesign of how data flows but basically its only the output layer that is missing. Its a huge project and I am learning soo incredibly much about software architecture and software engineering. I am very grateful for my prof that he sometimes takes time to help me rethink my architecture.

I saw a few people about how they find it overwhelming that so many people work on stuff. Donr be hard on yourself. We only portrait here what we choose to. My server project just crossed the 2 year mark. It tales time to learn and learning is exhausting. Some people don’t like working on a project for this long wich is fine. Some people find life exhausting wich is also fine. I have a few privileges in life that makes it easier for me and also enjoy working more than social life which can be tough mentally as well. Also, if you find stuff interesting, just dip your towes in. No one expects anything of you. I often find myself having 2-4h more energy a day than expected, specially if I like the topic or project.