If I don’t take meds I feel I should be doing things and then feel bad when I don’t.
Or if I do take meds I get a lot of things done and feel productive but zaped of energy.
Hobbies are either invested in and dropped or I just feel ‘bored’ and don’t want to get any of the stuff out to do them. If they stick around a bit longer they then feel like a chore or become a larger project and just another thing in the to-do pile and not relaxing.
Where is the off button and how do I relax?
Meditation (for a lot of people) is an exercise in learning that even doing nothing is active. Doing nothing is still doing. Rest is an important part of being productive. Rest is not a waste of time, so you don’t need to feel guilty over it. These are all lessons that the brain can understand on its face immediately, but the body requires reinforcement and practice.
And if stillness is a problem you struggle with, walking meditation or meditation through movement can be a more approachable way to get started. There are lots of ways to meditate, find the ones that work for you. Meditation isn’t a cure all, but it does have wide ranging impacts and it doesn’t hurt to try it.