I can’t stand this bloody series. ‘It’s art for the sake of art’. ‘This is really Lynch’s gift to all subsequent media’. ‘There is so much we owe to this series.’

What the hell. It’s just random pieces of script written by monkeys on a typewriter, slapped together. No part of the story is ever finished. ‘Ah but that’s where the depth resides!’. Rubbish. Anybody can write a story that doesn’t properly finish.

Oh I know I will introduce 20 new characters, this will add so much depth. Yeah, they have no motives, no character development BUT I will add this random surreal thing that happens to them, for additional depth. But what happens to X? Who knows! And to Y? You have to guess! And to Z? No one can tell!

Maybe using steel-faced actors will improve the plot? I know I will cast myself in one role with quirky details because it’s so fun. Yeah I don’t know how to act, why? Is it necessary?

And the goddamn music is unsufferable. ‘You can’t separate Lynch’s work from Badalamenti’s music’. Yeah I know they’re both shit. Oh and the effing gigs in the sequel of the series. Aaaaaah!

But at least there is some symbolism! Yes, what is it? Who fucking knows!