“True colors” is typically used to refer to acts of selfishness and betrayal, a loss of trust in how friendly or kind one appears to be.
But in the rare case it is used for anger specifically, it indicates a loss of trust in how safe or stable one appears to be.
Even if you’re mostly even-keeled and exhibit emotional stability 9 times out of 10, it’s the 1 in 10 chance you won’t that can instantly become the most salient “color” in your palette.
In other words, it is precisely that 10% chance of emotional disregulation and/or danger, be it real or perceived, that they are describing as your “true colors.”
It has nothing at all to do with the sincerity of your “happy” side.
Defensiveness is natural but IME this accusation is best treated as an opportunity for self-reflection. Anyone who has felt similarly misunderstood should consider discussing with a therapist who specializes in anger management, because the first person to mention an anger problem is rarely the first to have noticed it. Having more control over how you feel is its own reward.
Edit: not directed @ OP, just anyone who has felt similarly accused
“True colors” is typically used to refer to acts of selfishness and betrayal, a loss of trust in how friendly or kind one appears to be.
But in the rare case it is used for anger specifically, it indicates a loss of trust in how safe or stable one appears to be.
Even if you’re mostly even-keeled and exhibit emotional stability 9 times out of 10, it’s the 1 in 10 chance you won’t that can instantly become the most salient “color” in your palette.
In other words, it is precisely that 10% chance of emotional disregulation and/or danger, be it real or perceived, that they are describing as your “true colors.”
It has nothing at all to do with the sincerity of your “happy” side.
Defensiveness is natural but IME this accusation is best treated as an opportunity for self-reflection. Anyone who has felt similarly misunderstood should consider discussing with a therapist who specializes in anger management, because the first person to mention an anger problem is rarely the first to have noticed it. Having more control over how you feel is its own reward.
Edit: not directed @ OP, just anyone who has felt similarly accused