Same on an Indian forum. They’d all blame me. They blamed me for not learning their language. I didn’t refuse to learn it, they didn’t teach me properly and the lagoons I got were on reading and writing, not speaking and understand. I could read any books but had no idea what it meant and lost it. I was in a taxi and the guy asked where I was from. When he’s said he spoke to me in that language and I said I don’t understand. He asked me how that happened and I said my parents didn’t teach me. He literally said to me that it wasn’t their fault and that it I wanted to, I could learn quickly, blaming me effectively.

Luckily for me, it was mainly my dad. My mum was like that for some things but not as bad. Made it more bearable than lots of people I know.

Everything you said resonates unfortunately. The worst for me was my dad paid for my first year of rent at university. He kept bringing that up years later for any little thing.

I learned to just avoid doing things, do a bad job or forget to reduce what they ask for. I don’t ask or expect anything in return, which has it’s own problems though as I try to do too much myself and don’t trust/rely on others which harms me long term.