Men’s lack of deep, close friendships has been in the spotlight lately. A recent Pew Research Center study found that 54% of women say they turn to a friend for emotional support, but only 38% of men say they do. Essayist Sam Graham-Felsen and American Institute for Boys and Men CEO Richard Reeves join John Yang to discuss why some men seem to struggle with maintaining social connections.
  • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
    0·
    2 months ago

    I think there’s a core difference in “support” that they just started to touch on right at the end of the discussion. Support can take two forms:

    • words
    • actions

    The thesis here seems almost entirely focused on “words”. As in, “Men do not reach out for words of support as often as women”. I would agree. However, when the support needed is “actions” I know myself and men are quick to ask and quick to respond to others asking.

    • Can you come over and help me move this piece of furniture?
    • My wife has been out of work taking care of our new child, just found out I lost my job. Can you put me in touch with that company that needed a worker for that thing?
    • I don’t have a post hole digger, do you have one I can borrow?
    • Can you show me how to fill out the tax form for that deduction?

    Also frequently while these acts of support are happening words of support are also exchanged. Only at the end of the article did they talk about a fitness group that turned into a community service organization. The actions of support are present here. So I’d argue that men in western society have a high ratio of actions but lower ratio of words of support.

    For women reading, how does this compare with relationships you have with other women in friendships? How much is words vs actions?