Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!
We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!
Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same. Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.
It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!
Weekend binge drinker here sober for 11 days now. I was a grey area drinker. Drank enough to limit my potential, but never hit rock bottom.
My therapist said I should go to SMART recovery meetings and I’ve been to 2. Both of which were awful. They read articles then talk about the article. I can’t pay attention, it’s like torture. Then a bunch of people check in and talk about their problems. Like REAL problems. One guy wrote a poem about how he has a gun to his head and a finger on the trigger and wants to put a knife in his wife’s heart. Another woman’s dad died 2 days ago and she’s upset that there’s liquor stores on every corner. Another woman was mad at her family for drinking around her at Christmas. I don’t have the problems or addictions that these people do.
I feel like I am in a good spot emotionally. I am optimistic. I’ve gone 6-8 weeks without drinking in the past with somewhat no problems. I’ve still yet to have an urge to drink. I go to these meetings and it makes me feel like I wasn’t an alcoholic at all. I didn’t have problems like these people. That’s not good though, because alcoholic or not, I drank more than I wanted to and it’s time to stop. However, I feel like these meetings are for people that suffer from recovery. I am not suffering, I am thriving. I’m productive, moving more, eating better, controlling my emotions. I did the dishes last night, made my breakfast and lunch for today, cut my hair, got dinner. None of that would have been done with a hangover.
I realized that I am more motivated by the life I want to live than the one I want to leave behind. I don’t want alcohol to define me, sobriety or not. I’m working for alcohol to not dominate my schedule like it used to.
My issue is that I guarantee that when I go back to talk to my therapist on Thursday, she’s going to tell me that I need to go. She even is pressuring me to find a sponsor. I HAVE channels for accountability and support. Her version of my sobriety is making my recovery harder.
I resonate a lot with your story. I also never hit rock bottom. I was excelling in my career and I had a fulfilling home life. I just couldn’t stop thinking about the long term health consequences and having my son born made those thought impossible to ignore.
When I decided to quit, I tried to consume as much anti-drinking media as possible. I landed on The Happy Sober Podcast as my main source. I listened to all 200 episodes in the first 30 days and it helped reprogram the way I thought about alcohol. Craig Beck does a good job of revealing the tricks alcohol plays on the brain. He also talks about when he tried AA and it sounds a lot like your experience with the meetings. I don’t think the meetings are for everyone. You’ve got to find what works for you.