The best advice I can give is to make it as easy as possible for them to talk to you. Try to be as perceptive as you can. I’ve been in a lot of similar situations, and when I could tell something was definitely wrong, I eventually realized there were better approaches than asking, “Is everything okay?” I started saying things like, “What’s wrong, and how can I help?” instead. That kind of phrasing made it easier for them to see that I wasn’t just checking whether they wanted to talk - I genuinely wanted to talk about it with them.
Try not to overdo it though, especially at first. Let them keep whatever they want to themselves. Leading by example can be helpful too. If they ask you whether something’s wrong and it’s something small you don’t need to talk about, kindly tell them you’d rather not talk about it. It might seem obvious to you that you can acknowledge something’s wrong without having to open up immediately, but it might not be obvious to them. And you can always explain it later if you want to.
It’s also important to remember there’s a reason they avoid things. If they know they’re the avoidant type, see whether they’re also the type who’d want to figure out why, together. Maybe they’ll even want to help you figure out why you tend to overshare (beyond the ADHD). That’s important too. Let them reciprocate the help as much as possible.
Again, try not to overdo any of this. It’s a delicate balance. You will overstep sometimes, and you may have to be the one who notices that as well. When you think you might have overwhelmed them, give them some space. That’ll probably be more helpful than an immediate apology. You should apologize eventually, but only once they’re no longer overwhelmed. That’s also a good time to show them you’re not just sorry. You genuinely want to get better at being there for them in the way that works best for them.
There’s a bunch of articles with conflicting details. It does look like the facility tried a few different avenues before evicting her, but I haven’t seen a report mentioning involvement from a healthcare professional trained to handle situations like this. Every article does make it sound like that’s exactly what she needed though. It’s also entirely possible that when she said she thought she was going to die soon, she was referring to the potential mold issue she had been complaining about. I don’t think the article you linked mentions anything about that. I could be wrong though since I read a few.
There’s also this quote from another article:
The truth is probably somewhere between the two accounts. But honestly, that’s beside the point. Even if the living facility’s version was completely accurate, a 93 year old woman should not have ended up bruised and dragged out of her home by police just because she withheld rent for two months and refused to follow an order to vacate. Full stop.