Very nice project. I’ll definitely keep an eye on it.
Just a few days ago I ended up rolling my own PRM using a couple of tables in my NocoDB instance, Node-RED for notifications, and a couple of Siri Shortcuts as UI for my devices, mostly because as many already said, even Monica is a bit too much and quite hard to use.
I might as well give a spin and see if I can modify my shortcuts to use this instead!
This is not strictly a self hosting answer, but given the problem you are describing, I think it is still relevant.
If you are already comfortable using an LLM based tool to manage email, take a look at SaneBox (this is not an LLM).
It is not an email provider and not an email client. It sits behind the scenes and works with almost any provider that supports IMAP, including custom domains. All the filtering, prioritization, and notification cleanup happens server side, so you keep your existing setup.
It excels specifically at what you are struggling with: automatically separating real human email from receipts, shipping notices, one time codes, and low value notifications, without forcing you into Inbox Zero workflows or Gmail specific features.
Reeder Classic. I’ve been a fan of this app for years, and love it. Lots of configuration options. I actually discovered FreshRSS while using this app.
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/reeder-classic/id1529445840